We all go through periods of time when we could benefit from some wise, objective, and thoughtful support to reach our goals. Friends and family can be great for offering advice, but life coaching isn’t about advice-giving. Life coaching is about empowering you to identify your desires, set your intentions and then, of course, achieve your goals.
Life coaching is for everyone
Whether you are an entrepreneur, a working mother, a college student, a highly respected expert in your professional arena or just starting your adult life, life coaching can be beneficial to your personal and professional development. Although many niches exist within the realm of life coaching, all coaches have one common goal and that is to help you, the client, set and achieve your goals. This is why I feel so strongly that everyone can benefit from professional life coaching.
I bet you came across this blog as you were scrolling LinkedIn, Facebook or Instagram. I am also assuming that I only have a tiny bit of your attention. You are probably also eating, listening to a meeting or podcast, and your kids or pets are also begging for your attention. Am I right?
We really want to be efficient multitaskers. We want to do it all and do it well. We truly believe that our colleagues, bosses, friends and spouses are doing a great job of handling multiple tasks at once. And, truth be told, they go to great lengths to make it appear that way. But, the truth is, our brains were not designed to multitask. You are working against mother nature when you attempt this and in reality, you will take longer to complete your tasks, they will contain more errors, you will retain less information about the tasks you performed and your stress levels will increase. So, really, what is the advantage?
Multitasking slows you down, decreases concentration and increases mistakes
Multitasking’s Dirty Little Secret
There is no advantage to multitasking. That is clear from decades of research. One study showed that efficiency dropped as much as 40% when multitasking efforts were performed! Another study showed the prolonged multitasking actually lowered IQ of study participants to the level that researchers might have expected had they just smoked a joint. The same study also indicated that multitasking lowers EQ levels in the areas of social awareness and self-awareness. Emotional intelligence is a predictor of workplace and leadership success. So, please, stop it if you want to get ahead!
The reason why so many of us attempt multiple (often contradictory) tasks at once is under the guise of speed and efficiency. Your thought process might go something like this, “If I can just type this email while finishing this podcast and getting in my 50 squats at my standing desk, I have achieved three minor tasks at once and I will be ahead of the game before that 8am meeting.”
How fast are you really going?
It’s an understandable mindset and it is logical but, unfortunately, it is biologically incorrect. What actually happens in this situation is that your brain oscillates back and forth between the three tasks and so you slow down as you move between each task and your brain takes extra time to re-orient to the new task each time you make the slight shift between listening to the podcast and constructing a sentence. But let us just say you did all three of these things at once and it felt good. That’s possible. But according to research, if we were to go back and check your accuracy or retention of information, the flaws would become apparent.
It’s Time to Double Check Your Work
Your email would likely have typos and you would not be able to retain what you learned from the end of the podcast. You may also have sore muscles from rushing through your squats your form was compromised in the name of speed. Adding physical therapy or massages to your busy schedule will definitely slow you down! So, while you may feel good about tackling your to-do list, it probably won’t be your best work. And, if this is how you always operate, your performance will be less than stellar, and you will not be impressing anyone!
Slow down. Focus. Concentrate.
So, now what?
As with all habits it will take time to re-train your brain. It will also take effort, intention, grit and focus. All of these things will feel out of reach, at least initially. You will wonder if you can do it. Here is the thing… You can do it and you should do it.
Once you are more intentional and mindful in your endeavors, you will see why it was worth it. Your colleagues, superiors and friends will notice the change in your vibe, mood and energy. Instead of the distracted and always irritable version of you that they have become accustomed to, they will notice that you are calm and present rather than ungrounded and absentminded. They will also notice that you are more accurate with your tasks and more approachable in your mood. All of these positive changes will likely help you achieve those goals that had you multi-tasking in the first place.
Be mindful and trust your intuition
If you are seeking a promotion or a lateral move in your company, being known as grounded and focused will stand you in good stead against your disorganized, overwhelmed, or moody co-workers. While you and your competitors may have similar work experience and training, your mood and overall poised vibe will be attractive to leaders in your industry or company. It’s well known that formal training and skill set are only one small part of making a hire. Leaders and recruiters are also assessing personality and non-verbal cues to see if you would be a good fit for their specific team, company culture, and industry. Once you start slowing down and becoming more mindful with your energy, everything you do becomes more effective.
The Benefits
It is easy to see how slowing down and being intentional with your time will also work well at home. Whether you are living the single life or balancing a family with small children or an empty-nester, everyone benefits when you let go of multi-tasking. When you are with your spouse, try to be just in that moment. Put down the phone or the mental to do list or laundry basket and just be present in that one conversation. If you are with your baby or dog, just play with them- making good eye contact, smiling and laughing. Even babies and pets know when they are missing your full attention. When you are planning a vacation or filing tax returns with your life partner, just stay there in that one conversation without interruption. Turn off your phone notifications and email pop-ups, you will not need them if you are making an effort to complete one task at a time.
Work-Life Balance
Notice how your relationships improve with this intentional act of being present, mindful and focused on one person at a time. Implore your loved ones to try this with you. Pay attention to how it feels when your partner is focused just on you rather than when they are multitasking. And pay attention to how it feels to know you are giving your family 100% of your attention rather than 1/10 of it!
As we embrace this new year, it is traditional to review the year we’ve had and set goals for the year ahead. It’s a good time to think about what is working in your life and what’s not. It’s also a good idea to see if the things you are doing are influencing your life the way you had hoped they would. As I said at the beginning of this article, we multitask because we want to be effective and efficient. But, despite our wishes, multitasking makes us slow, inaccurate, and forgetful. So, if you want a different result, try a different tactic. Give it 60 days and see how it feels after a few months. Assess, reorient, work through the challenges, and let me know how it goes.
Career Coach & Life Coach | Carrie Mead, MS | 443.951.3986
Need professional Guidance or Accountability?
If you want help with organization, mindset shifts or living with the consequences of adult ADHD, working with a life coach and psychotherapist, like me, can help. Life is challenging and seeking expert guidance is a wise decision for many people like you. Whether you are working through a major life transition, changing careers or simply want a change of pace in your life, I can help. Complimentary consultations can be booked at: https://marylandtherapycarrie.com/contact or by calling me at 443.951.3986.
Welcome to spring 2020. Pollen, bluebirds and…. change is in air. We are muddling through unprecedented, scary, times together. We would rather be enjoying the extra daylight and warmer temperatures, but instead, on March 11, 2020, the World Health Organization declared the COVID19 outbreak a world health pandemic. Thus, our anxiety heightened to intolerable levels. Collectively, we began to imagine worst-case- scenarios as our retirement funds plummeted, schools closed, and jobs were lost. Our worst fears started to unfold before our eyes and we seemed powerless to stop the destructive path carved out by a tiny virus. Creating a healthy mindset in the midst of chaos is pivotal because COVID19-anxiety is real.
When the days draw-in and sunlight begins to wane (at least in the Northern Hemisphere), you may notice a drop-in your energy levels, motivation and mood. This most often rears its ugly-head in the workplace. Maybe it is a missed deadline, a skipped meeting, or lack of follow-through on a commitment. Maybe it is increased anxiety about job security due to your poor performance. However it is showing up for you, it is a problem and you may not be able to solve it on your own. According to the Washington Post[1] depression and anxiety cost the global economy over $1 trillion in lost productivity. In the USA alone that is upwards of 200 million lost work days every year! With numbers like this, everyone will benefit from workplace wellness initiatives that respect and create a work-life balance.
As an employee with autonomy and self-agency, there are simple ways you can increase your energy, commitment and focus in the workplace and beyond. Having worked through this topic with so many clients, I would like to offer some tips on this subject.
Firstly, no matter what, take a lunch break every single day. This is paramount. During your lunch break take a walk outside. No matter the weather conditions or environment, the fresh air, natural light and physical movement will provide you clarity, focus and fresh perspective. During this time, be as present to the moment as possible. Leave your device in your pocket as it will only serve as a distraction. When you are able to stay focused in the present moment, rather fixating on the past (e.g. what went wrong already this morning) or focusing on the future (e.g. what will be requested of you at your next meeting) you allow yourself to feel peace and calm. If your day simply won’t allow for a lunch break, fit in a break somewhere, whether it is mid-morning between conference calls or 30 minutes before you head into your commute home. You deserve it and your productivity will increase; not decrease!
Secondly, set yourself regular working hours and stick to them. In this 24 -hour world, we can easily be persuaded to work around the clock from the car, our bed and even vacation. Being realistic and discerning, prioritize your deadlines and commitments. With this in mind, only respond to urgent matters outside of your working hours. This is called setting healthy boundaries and creating a work-life balance for yourself. Set expectations with your peers and clients so that they understand your commitment to a healthy work-life balance. Many professionals have forgotten that not every email, text or call is urgent. Again, use your discernment, intuition and expertise to determine if you must work outside of your normal business hours and respond accordingly. Keep to your rountine, it’s good for your mental health!
Thirdly, create a practical, achievable and sustainable routine for self-care. This will depend greatly on your areas of interests, passions, and abilities. Self-care is a huge factor in defending against career burnout. Some ideas may include: journaling, jogging, attending a pilates class, reading scripture, joining a prayer gathering, free-writing, creative dancing, cooking, investing in musical lessons, walking your dog or volunteering a homeless shelter. Create a list of accessible activities that you can engage in if you have 10 mins, an hour, or a full-day to dedicate to yourself. Creating this list ahead of time will prevent you from the paralysis you may feel if you find yourself with a precious, but unexpected, unscheduled window of time. Self-care, like all worthy pursuits, takes time and dedication. If you don’t commit to caring for yourself, you will likely stop prematurely and regress into old, familiar habits.
Fourth, learn to meditate. Meditation is the simplest and most accessible ways for anyone to create a sense of calm within themselves. Anyone who can breathe, can meditate! Meditation requires practice and discipline but it’s not about achievement. It’s about being present, calm and open to your experience in the world. Meditation can be practiced anywhere at any time, so there are no excuses. Harvard medical [2] studies confirm that adults can increase gray matter in 4 regions of the brain (including the frontal cortex) and reduce size of the amygdala (aka ‘fight or flight’ command center) after just 8 weeks of 27 mins per day of meditation practice. If that doesn’t excite you, you can stop reading now!
Below I have provided a simple meditation that can practiced anywhere. To do this brief meditation, you only need to stop where ever you are and use your 5 senses to ground yourself in the moment. By grounding in the present moment, you allow yourself to be open to the experience of life that is unfolding in your very presence. The point is to stay focused on each of your senses as you move through this exercise. This meditation can be done in a just a few moments or stretched out when time allows. The important thing to remember is that you are sending calming signals to your brain’s amygdala as you meditate and therefore you are eliminating anxiety. Repeated practice of such a meditation will allow your mind easier access to its calmer side.
Five Senses Meditation
Imagine you are sitting in a coffee shop on your lunch break… With your eyes you will take in the colors of the food in the display counter, the patterns of the shirt of the barista and dried-up spilled milk on your table. Stay there a while, observe and notice what you can only using your sight. With yourears you may hear the sounds of the espresso machine brewing, the chatter of the adjacent table or the honking horns of the cars outside. Stay here and take in all the sounds and notice how each feels to you. Close your eyes to deepen the experience. With your nose smell the bold scent of roasting coffee or the sweetness of the fresh baked pastries. Can you smell any specific ingredients like cinnamon, butter or fresh berries? Maybe the scents are mixed together and you are intrigued by the combination of coffee and sweets. Stay here, what else do you detect with only your nostrils? With your skin you may detect the heating blowing against your skin, the softness of your cotton shirt or the heat coming off your coffee cup. Stay here. How does each sensation feel and is there anything you can do to make yourself more comfortable with this new knowledge? With your tongue observe the taste of your coffee and how each sip differs from the last- is the coffee hot, cold, strong, mild, bitter? Does the second sip taste as good as the first? Can you taste the cream and sugar? Stay here and notice if there are any lingering tastes in your mouth such as your minty toothpaste or this morning’s everything bagel? Engage in each sense individually until you are fully present in your body and the experience.
As a life coach, I love helping transform and change. I am guided by my clinical training as a psychotherapist, expertise in human relationships and my well-honed intuition. I especially enjoy working with people in major life transitions such career change, retirement, separation, or loss. If you would like to know more about how professional life coaching can benefit you, please reach out. Set-up a free consultation by clicking here. You can find all of my contact information on my website: www.curiositylifecoaching.com or at https://www.linkedin.com/in/carriecmead/.
When the days draw-in and sunlight begins to wane (at least in the Northern Hemisphere), you may notice a drop in your energy levels, motivation, and mood. This most often rears its ugly head in the workplace. Maybe it is a missed deadline, a skipped meeting, or a lack of follow-through on a commitment. Maybe it is increased anxiety about job security due to your poor performance. However it is showing up for you, stress is a problem and you may not be able to solve it on your own. According to the Washington Post[1] depression and anxiety cost the global economy over $1 trillion in lost productivity. In the USA alone that is upwards of 200 million lost workdays every year! With numbers like this, everyone will benefit from workplace wellness initiatives that respect and create a work-life balance.
Have you ever had a difficult time making a decision? Perhaps you have rushed into a decision and then regretted it either instantly or months later. Maybe you are so indecisive that decisions simply never get made and you are left feeling stuck in your situation. Maybe you have made decisions that were in direct conflict with your long-term goals or vision for your life. With the countless decisions you have made in your life, have you ever stopped and wondered how these past decisions have impacted the trajectory of your life?
In our busy lives, decisions are made at rapid speed and they are often made without adequate thought and consideration of the consequences. How many times have you made an important decision while multi-tasking or, worse yet, when you were tired, hungry or emotional? I will be writing on more on this topic soon. Suffice to say, I am quite certain that if you have made decisions under these conditions then the results were less than stellar.
On the other hand, your decision-making skills may lean away from impulsive towards indecisive. Wavering minds have a tendency towards uncertainty, anxiety and self-doubt. If you are inclined towards indecisiveness, you probably spend countless hours lost in a barrage of ‘what ‘if’’ thinking that ultimately leaves you feeling anxious, depressed, tired, stuck and hopeless.
No matter which is your dominant decision-making style, chances are, you have made some good decisions in your life and you have made some poor ones as well. Have you ever stopped to consider the circumstances that lead to those good decisions or bad decisions? By exploring your past, you have rich and valuable information for your future.
Below is an exercise that you can use for the purpose of self-discovery. As always, when setting off on a journey, you want to be prepared. This is as true for today’s journey as it would be for setting off on a road trip across the country. Preparation for today’s journey of self-discovery should include setting aside ample time for completing the exercise, being well rested and comfortable in your setting and being prepared to take notes. To get the most of out of this experience, you will also need to set aside time in a few days for reflection on the experience.
Step 1: Start with free writing. Just jot down all those thoughts swirling around your mind, whatever they are. Those ‘things’ that if left unattended will distract you from being present in this moment. Once that list is complete, put it aside knowing that it will be there for you when you are done. Give thanks for the time are you taking for yourself and quiet your mind.
Step 2: Create two lists. One list will consist of the ‘good’ decisions you have made in recent memory. A good decision may have led a good night’s sleep, an awesome date with your spouse, paying off a debt early or saying no to someone or something unsavory. The other list will consist of all those ‘bad’ decisions you have made. Those decisions which moved you out of alignment with your goals. This list may include decisions which catapulted you further into debt or added 10lbs to your waist line or ended a healthy romantic relationship.
Step 3: Review these lists. What immediately comes to mind as you read and re-read them? Jot these intuitive thoughts down. If they do not make sense now, they might later. Remember, as part of your preparation, you are setting aside time to reflect on this experience later this week. Never dismiss your intuition. Do you see patterns of behaviors that repeat themselves overtly or covertly as you reflect and review? Whatever your reaction, it’s important to honor and acknowledge it.
Step 4: Now you are ready to delve into just one experience from each list. Start with whichever list you prefer and remember to take notes! Begin by recalling what was going on at the time you made this particular decision. Were you focused and thoughtful or were you rushed, harried or impulsive? Were you well-rested and clear minded or were you tired and pushed for time? Did you consult with someone you trusted before making this decision or did you trust only yourself? Did you listen to your intuition or did you ignore it? Were there red flags you chose to ignore? Did you consider how this decision aligned with your long and short-term goals? Were you multi-tasking or day dreaming at the time you made your choice or were you fully present in the moment? Carefully consider these questions as they will provide you with personal insight and a chance for transformation and growth.
Step 5: Now that you’ve recalled this experience, reflect on the end result and consequences of your decision. Were you surprised by the results? Did things happen as you planned? Did you get the result you were hoping for or did you miss the target? What advice could you offer your younger-self about this topic knowing all that you do now? What did you do well in this decision-making process? Has the impact of this decision been less or more than you anticipated? Sometimes the most surprising thing that we learn is that you spend entirely too much time worrying about the wrong thing! Complete this exercise again choosing one event from your other list.
Step 6: Lastly, think about a decision you need to make now or in the near future. How can you apply the information you gleaned from this experience to your current situation? Do you have a new perspective on this situation? Do you have new insight about your decision-making patterns? Do you have a new skill or tool to use that you didn’t before? Is your intuition crying out to be heard or is fear’s voice the loudest? Is there a friend or mentor you can reach out to for advice? Has anything shifted?
Wherever you are at this moment with your pending decision, take time to care for yourself by delaying your choice until you have slept well. Yes, you heard me, sleep first, decide later. Neuroscience and sleep research make it clear that decisions are best made after a good night’s sleep. The simple reason is that during sleep the brain eliminates distractions from the day by filtering out the ‘useless’ information and stimuli you received during the day to make room for the important information to emerge. Just think of all the colors, sounds, and images you experience as you scroll through social media for a few minutes. Our brains are constantly processing this information and storing it until we sleep when these stimuli can be filtered, filed or let go. This clearing process, which happens during deep non-REM sleep, allows the important information of the day to come forth. Following a good sleep, you will often have a fresh perspective that biologically could not have existed the previous day. (For more on the importance of quality sleep I highly recommend the movie “Sleepless in America” by National Geographic and the National Institute of Health. The entire movie is available for free on Youtube or DVD from your local library).
One reason why people like you seek the support of a life coach is to learn effective decision-making skills. Poor decision-making skills adds immeasurable stress to your life and ultimately robs you of the peace you deserve. If any of the above scenarios resonate with you, life coaching can help. As your coach, I will come along aside you to offer space, time, fresh perspectives, empowerment trainings, brainstorming exercises and guidance as you determine if your current patterns of thoughts and behaviors are aligning you with your goals or moving you away from your desired outcomes.
Decision-making skills can be learned and re-learned. They are teachable, adaptable and extremely important in your adult life. As a life coach and mental health therapist, I have borne witness to the impact a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ decision has on the trajectory of one’s life countless times.
It is my greatest desire to assist you in making conscious, intentional and healthy choices for your life. Want to know more about the benefits of life coaching, click below. I will be happy to offer you a complimentary first session so that you can experience the power of life coaching first-hand. You can reach me, Carrie C. Mead, by email at: curiositylifecoaching@gmail.com or at LinkedIn.
Have you ever had a difficult time making a decision? Perhaps you have rushed into a decision and then regretted it either instantly or months later. Maybe you are so indecisive that decisions simply never get made and you are left feeling stuck in your situation. Maybe you have made decisions that were in direct conflict with your long-term goals or vision for your life. With the countless decisions you have made in your life, have you ever stopped and wondered how these past decisions have impacted the trajectory of your life?
We all go through periods of time when we could benefit from some wise, objective, and thoughtful support to reach our goals. Friends and family can be great for offering advice, but life coaching isn’t about advice-giving. Life coaching is about empowering you to identify your desires, set your intentions and then, of course, achieve your goals.
Carrie Mead, MS Transitions Life Coach Curiosity Life Coaching
As a psychotherapist and life coach, people always ask me the difference between my two roles. People are always curious about what I do. They are also want to know how to discern what they need. Basically, is their problem coachable or therapeutic in nature?
So, with this blog, I want to address frequently asked questions about the differences between psychotherapy and life coaching. It’s not uncommon for people to confuse these two professions and to be sure, similarities do exist. However, these professions are not interchangeable. These waters can become even murkier as many counselors, like me, are practicing as both licensed counselors and life coaches. However, when you a hire a coach with a Masters in Counseling, like me, you can rest assured that the foundation of our work together is rooted in my innate understanding of the human psyche.
It’s important to note that as a potential client, you are not expected to know exactly what you need. As a trained professional, I am here to guide you to the right service based on your needs, capabilities, and desires. That is where my expertise comes in. In any event, it’s still important to be an informed consumer so I have laid out this simple bullet points to help guide you through the decision making process.
differences between counseling and coaching
Coaching sessions are focused on the agenda set by client
Coaching is action oriented and results driven
Coaching takes place in the here and now, not in the past
Coaching assumes that you are resilient, strong, capable and healthy
Coaching focuses on aligning your strengths with your stated goals
Coaching assumes that you are the expert of your own life purpose
Coaching is a collaborative process
Coaching is credentialed in many different ways by many governing bodies but in reality, no certification or credential is required to call oneself a coach
Coaching can take place by phone, video or in person across the USA or worldwide
VS
Therapy is process oriented
Therapy focuses on emotions, behaviors and thoughts and the root of these feelings
Therapy helps the client relate current situations to past traumas or learned experiences
Therapy assesses for and diagnoses mental health disorders
Therapy provides treatement for mental health disorders
Therapists are trained at the Masters Level and are required to be licensed by their state in almost every state in the USA. Each state has their own regulation and reqirements, all are rigourous to ensure client safety
Therapy is often considered “medically necessary” and is covered by health insurance
Therapy is a medical model which is governed by the laws of HIPAA
Therapy can only take place in person or by secure video; most therapy laws prohibit the use of many technologies
The therapist is often considered the expert within the relationship
The practice of therapy or counseling is regulated by the state board in each state across the USA. A therapist may only practice or do counseling with a client who is located in the state in which the therapist is licensed.
similarities between counseling and coaching:
Both professions require specialized trainings, certifications, course work, internships and in-vivo field practice
Both professions have the same inherent goal of assisting clients create fulfilling lives
Both coaches and therapists are highly trained, empathetic, and intelligent
Both professions recognize and honor that each person is different and that there is no ‘one size fits all’ recipe for healing and success
Both professions adhere to ethical guidelines which foster safety within the relationship
It’s the job of the coach to help you, the client, understand these differences so that you choose the appropriate service for your needs. As the consumer, you are entitled to understand what coaching is, and is not, so that you can knowledgeably enter the coaching contract. In traditional psychotherapy, we would make this part of the informed consent process. A thorough initial phone call or video call should include: establishing rapport, assessing your readiness for coaching and explaining the limitations of coaching.
It’s my belief that both coaching and therapy are vital and helpful services for many people. There is no ‘better’ or ‘less than’ helping profession. It’s actually this diversity which allows us to have access to the services we need most at a particular time in life.
If you would like to explore the possibility of life coaching or counselling with me, please set up an appointment here. I provide mental health therapy in the state of Maryland only and you can find out more about my counseling philosophy here.
“Just as the boat is guided to shore by careful planning, following the map and visualizing the light house, we too must have these tools to reach our goals. Without preparation, planning and a vision of the future we are just afloat in the sea at the mercy of the winds”
Curiosity Life Coaching 