Self-care is a buzzword that we have all heard but I wonder how many people really know what it means to care for one’s self. I would wager to say that people talk much more about this topic than actually practice a regular and consistent self-care routine. Statistics often speak louder than words and on Instagram alone, the hashtag #selfcare has been used more than 21 million times and the combined uses of all the self-care hashtags reach well over 30 million posts! So, it is evident that people are talking a lot about self-care but there’s no evidence that people are putting their words into action.
what is self-care
To be clear, self-care is a concept, not an action. The concept of self-care is broad and highly individualized. The practice of self-care is unique to each of us. How much alone-time, girl-time, exercise, yoga, meditation, or hiking you need to feel rejuvenated and restored totally depends on you. Your version of self-care today may look completely different than it did a year ago or even one week ago. And that is okay. You are growing and developing as a person and therefore your needs are changing too. We all go through different seasons of life and in transition our needs change. The point is, you need to figure out what fills you up, lightens your load, and creates joy and ease in your life. Only you know.
Today’s self-care could be 15 mins of silent meditation, using EFT tapping, serving hot meals to the homeless, or playing with your puppy. A year ago, self-care could have looked like a day at the spa, ice-fishing with your buddies, or reading a chapter from your new favorite self-help book. If you are a new parent or a working parent, self-care could just as easily be a long, hot, shower infused with essential oils, a trip to the grocery store alone, or an uninterrupted cup of hot coffee in the morning.
As you can see, there is no right or wrong way to care for yourself. Ultimately, only you know what you need and only you can make self-care a priority. Your mother may buy you a gift certificate for a massage or your best friend may offer to babysit so that you and your spouse can enjoy a date night but you, and only, can make this happen.
how do I prioritize myself?
You have probably been putting your needs on the back-burner for a while. Be honest, how long has this been going on? What’s preventing you from taking better care of yourself? Is it guilt? Is it depression? It is feelings of unworthiness? It is anxiety or negative chatter in your head? Is it an unhealthy perspective on the importance of productivity and achievement? The truth is that if you are not taking good care of yourself, you absolutely cannot take good care of anyone else. If you have people (or pets!) who depend on you, you owe it to them to take better care of yourself. When are you are feeling refreshed, reenergized, and joyful you are in a much better state to give lovingly to others.
Take a minute to write down a few ideas for your self-care routine. What would you love to do if you found yourself with 15 minutes extra tomorrow morning? What would you love to do if an entire day opened up or imagine a whole weekend without any plans? If you just a few moments, you can journal, but if you had a full day you could do a massage or a Reiki healing treatment. If you had a weekend you go to the beach or visit your home-town. Write down some ideas so that next time you find yourself with an unexpected opening in your schedule, you will know exactly what to do!
If you need help discovering who you are and what you need, contact me. Having an objective and wise guide on your path of self-discovery is a great idea. If you have been living on auto-pilot, you may have no idea who you are or what will revive your spirit. If you are transitioning into a new phase of life such as retirement or becoming an empty-nester, you may suddenly find yourself with an abundance of time. It’s too easy to fall into apathy and depression when you are unsure of your purpose in the world. I would love to help you rediscover yourself, your passions, and your God-given purpose. Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org to learn more. You and your loved ones deserve this, so don’t delay!
self-care and mental health
One final note. And it’s a serious one. If you are feeling like a lazy Sunday with your favorite book or a trip to Starbucks won’t satisfy your self-care needs, you are maybe suffering from depression, anxiety or some other significant mental illness. Don’t go at it alone. If you need help beyond the simple energy boosts I have provided here, please reach out to a professional mental health counselor. You can connect to someone in your area by using Psychology Today. You can also access the Suicide Prevention Hotline or Crisis Text Line 24/7 from the USA. Let’s stop the stigma.
Carrie Mead is a Professional Life Coach, Psychotherapist, and Reiki practitioner based in Maryland. Carrie created Curiosity Life Coaching to help men and women successfully navigate major life transitions such as retirement, divorce, career changes, and loss. Carrie provides guidance, support and empowering exercises to help her clients redefine and enact on their life’s mission following a major life transition. Connecting authentically and compassionately forms the basis of all of Carrie’s personal and professional relationships. Carrie holds a Master’s Degree in Counseling from McDaniel College and a Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science from Gettysburg College. Learn more by visiting www.curiositylifecoaching.com