Divorce Day

If you are currently in a troubled marriage, you may have typed the term “divorce” into your internet browser recently. If so, you are not alone.  According to media outlets like the New York Times [1] and the London Evening Standard[2], search terms such as “how do I get divorced” peak and trend at various points throughout the year.  It is no surprise that early January, or the first Monday back to work in January to be exact, is one of the most popular days to search for answers about the legalities and formalities of getting divorced. Another time this term peaks is March. Most experts surmise that by March, people have gathered their information and made their decisions on whether or not to begin a divorce proceeding. 

As a life coach who specializes in helping people navigate major life transitions, I often encounter people in the depths of despair.  Maybe the couple has just experienced an infidelity or perhaps the kids have finally left home and they are now experiencing the full discord of their rocky marriage, or, maybe one partner has prioritized his or her career over the needs of their spouse. Whatever the reason, people reach out to professionals, like me, in these trying times. Most people navigating a negative life change like divorce, separation, or the ending of a life-partnership need support, guidance, and clarity during this very tumultuous time. 

I approach helping my clients through this by helping them build a roadmap of where they have been and where they are going. I also assist my clients in acknowledging and accepting that the future will be different than the past. That’s not good or bad; it just is.

As a certified Seasons of Change Coach, I use the analogy of four seasons to help guide my clients through this change.  Everyone knows that the season of summer feels abundant, bright, and hopeful. And many people have experienced the despair, pain, and darkness of a long, cold winter.  Most often, however, I encounter people in the season of fall. Fall is when things begin to change.

It’s possible you have planning your separation for a long time and you are entering into this change with open eyes and a carefully planned approach. But for many people, the talk of divorce comes in with an element of surprise and savagery about it.  Although you knew your marriage was troubled, you thought you could work it out. But no number of weekends away together or time huddled around your computer avoiding conversation with your spouse could help. You are here, in this very dark and scary new territory, contemplating yourself as a single working mother or a weekend dad without a plan of how to move forward. You are stuck.  This was not part of your life plan.

I hear you and I understand the grief, anger, sadness, fear, anxiety, and panic that comes along with this major life transition.  Asking for help from friends, family, and a professional are imperative at this time.  Divorce is extremely draining- it drains your energy, your time, your joy, and your finances.  It is a daunting task to undertake emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually.  Not to mention the impact it makes on your children and your pets. You barely have the energy to brush your teeth, let alone help your kids with their math homework or take your dog for a walk.

As your coach, I will guide you through the process and keep you motivated, centered, and calm when the waters become rocky. I will also help you live a value-aligned, purposeful life as you transition and transform into this next phase of life. I will teach you how to navigate the transition from fall to winter, winter to spring, and spring to summer.  Navigating each season fully and in proper order is essential to creating healthy, sustainable change in your life.  As much as we would love to move from fall to spring without ever experiencing the blustery cold winds, dark nights, and black ice of winter, we simply cannot.  We must journey through each season of our life just as we travel the seasons outside.  Preparation, understanding, and acceptance of each season and its purpose is key to coming into the full beauty of summer that awaits you.

Are you curious about coaching? Would you like to know more about my approach? Feel free to call or email me and we can set-up a free consultation. In this call we will discover if we are good fit for each other. Let’s talk!

Carrie Mead, MS is a Professional Life Coach, Psychotherapist, and Reiki practitioner based in Maryland. Carrie created Curiosity Life Coaching to help men and women successfully navigate major life transitions such as retirement, divorce, career changes, and loss. Carrie provides guidance, support, and empowering exercises to help her clients redefine and enact on their life’s mission following a major life transition. Connecting authentically and compassionately forms the basis of all of Carrie’s personal and professional relationships. Carrie holds a Master’s Degree in Counseling from McDaniel College and a Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science from Gettysburg College. Learn more by visiting www.curiositylifecoaching.com


[1] https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/04/style/january-divorce-month.html

[2] https://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/divorce-day-2020-january-split-relationship-marriage-a4327181.html

What is Self-Care and Why is it Important?

Carrie Mead, MS
Professional Life Coach

Self-care is a buzzword that we have all heard but I wonder how many people really know what it means to care for one’s self.  I would wager to say that people talk much more about this topic than actually practice a regular and consistent self-care routine.  Statistics often speak louder than words and on Instagram alone, the hashtag #selfcare has been used more than 21 million times and the combined uses of all the self-care hashtags reach well over 30 million posts! So, it is evident that people are talking a lot about self-care but there’s no evidence that people are putting their words into action. 

To be clear, self-care is a concept, not an action. The concept of self-care is broad and highly individualized. The practice of self-care is unique to each of us. How much alone-time, girl-time, exercise, yoga, meditation, or hiking you need to feel rejuvenated and restored totally depends on you. Your version of self-care today may look completely different than it did a year ago or even one week ago.  And that is okay. You are growing and developing as a person and therefore your needs are changing too.  We all go through different seasons of life and in transition our needs change. The point is, you need to figure out what fills you up, lightens your load, and creates joy and ease in your life.  Only you know.

Today’s self-care could be 15 mins of silent meditation, running a marathon, serving hot meals to the homeless, or playing with your puppy. A year ago, self-care could have looked like a day at the spa, ice-fishing with your buddies, or reading a chapter from your new favorite self-help book. If you are a new parent or a working parent, self-care could just as easily be a long,  hot, shower, a trip to the grocery store alone, or an uninterrupted cup of hot coffee in the morning.  

As you can see, there is no right or wrong way to care for yourself. Ultimately, only you know what you need and only you can make self-care a priority. Your mother may buy you a gift certificate for a massage or your best friend may offer to babysit so that you and your spouse can enjoy a date night but you, and only, can make this happen.  

You have probably been putting your needs on the back-burner for a while. Be honest, how long has this been going on? What’s preventing you from taking better care of yourself? Is it guilt? It is feelings of unworthiness? It is poor judgment or negative chatter in your head? Is it an unhealthy perspective on the importance of productivity and achievement?  The truth is that if you are not taking good care of yourself, you absolutely cannot take good care of anyone else. If you have people (or pets!) who depend on you, you owe it to them to take better care of yourself. When are you are feeling refreshed, reenergized, and joyful you are in a much better state to give lovingly to others. 

Take a minute to write down a few ideas for your self-care routine. What would you love to do if you found yourself with 15 minutes extra tomorrow morning? What would you love to do if an entire day opened up or imagine a whole weekend without any plans? Write down some ideas so that next time you find yourself with an unexpected opening in your schedule, you will know exactly what to do!

If you need help discovering who you are and what you need, contact me. Having an objective and wise guide on your path of self-discovery is a great idea. If you have been living on auto-pilot, you may have no idea who you are or what will revive your spirit. If you are transitioning into a new phase of life such as retirement or becoming an empty-nester, you may suddenly find yourself with an abundance of time. It’s too easy to fall into apathy and depression when you are unsure of your purpose in the world. I would love to help you rediscover yourself, your passions, and your God-given purpose. Contact me at: curiositylifecoaching@gmail.com to learn more. You and your loved ones deserve this, so don’t delay!

Carrie Mead is a Professional Life Coach, Psychotherapist, and Reiki practitioner based in Maryland. Carrie created Curiosity Life Coaching to help men and women successfully navigate major life transitions such as retirement, divorce, career changes, and loss. Carrie provides guidance, support and empowering exercises to help her clients redefine and enact on their life’s mission following a major life transition. Connecting authentically and compassionately forms the basis of all of Carrie’s personal and professional relationships. Carrie holds a Master’s Degree in Counseling from McDaniel College and a Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science from Gettysburg College. Learn more by visiting www.curiositylifecoaching.com