Divorce Day

If you are currently in a troubled marriage, you may have typed the term “divorce” into your internet browser recently. If so, you are not alone.  According to media outlets like the New York Times [1] and the London Evening Standard[2], search terms such as “how do I get divorced” peak and trend at various points throughout the year.  It is no surprise that early January, or the first Monday back to work in January to be exact, is one of the most popular days to search for answers about the legalities and formalities of getting divorced. Another time this term peaks is March. Most experts surmise that by March, people have gathered their information and made their decisions on whether or not to begin a divorce proceeding. 

As a life coach who specializes in helping people navigate major life transitions, I often encounter people in the depths of despair.  Maybe the couple has just experienced an infidelity or perhaps the kids have finally left home and they are now experiencing the full discord of their rocky marriage, or, maybe one partner has prioritized his or her career over the needs of their spouse. Whatever the reason, people reach out to professionals, like me, in these trying times. Most people navigating a negative life change like divorce, separation, or the ending of a life-partnership need support, guidance, and clarity during this very tumultuous time. 

I approach helping my clients through this by helping them build a roadmap of where they have been and where they are going. I also assist my clients in acknowledging and accepting that the future will be different than the past. That’s not good or bad; it just is.

As a certified Seasons of Change Coach, I use the analogy of four seasons to help guide my clients through this change.  Everyone knows that the season of summer feels abundant, bright, and hopeful. And many people have experienced the despair, pain, and darkness of a long, cold winter.  Most often, however, I encounter people in the season of fall. Fall is when things begin to change.

It’s possible you have planning your separation for a long time and you are entering into this change with open eyes and a carefully planned approach. But for many people, the talk of divorce comes in with an element of surprise and savagery about it.  Although you knew your marriage was troubled, you thought you could work it out. But no number of weekends away together or time huddled around your computer avoiding conversation with your spouse could help. You are here, in this very dark and scary new territory, contemplating yourself as a single working mother or a weekend dad without a plan of how to move forward. You are stuck.  This was not part of your life plan.

I hear you and I understand the grief, anger, sadness, fear, anxiety, and panic that comes along with this major life transition.  Asking for help from friends, family, and a professional are imperative at this time.  Divorce is extremely draining- it drains your energy, your time, your joy, and your finances.  It is a daunting task to undertake emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually.  Not to mention the impact it makes on your children and your pets. You barely have the energy to brush your teeth, let alone help your kids with their math homework or take your dog for a walk.

As your coach, I will guide you through the process and keep you motivated, centered, and calm when the waters become rocky. I will also help you live a value-aligned, purposeful life as you transition and transform into this next phase of life. I will teach you how to navigate the transition from fall to winter, winter to spring, and spring to summer.  Navigating each season fully and in proper order is essential to creating healthy, sustainable change in your life.  As much as we would love to move from fall to spring without ever experiencing the blustery cold winds, dark nights, and black ice of winter, we simply cannot.  We must journey through each season of our life just as we travel the seasons outside.  Preparation, understanding, and acceptance of each season and its purpose is key to coming into the full beauty of summer that awaits you.

Are you curious about coaching? Would you like to know more about my approach? Feel free to call or email me and we can set-up a free consultation. In this call we will discover if we are good fit for each other. Let’s talk!

Carrie Mead, MS is a Professional Life Coach, Psychotherapist, and Reiki practitioner based in Maryland. Carrie created Curiosity Life Coaching to help men and women successfully navigate major life transitions such as retirement, divorce, career changes, and loss. Carrie provides guidance, support, and empowering exercises to help her clients redefine and enact on their life’s mission following a major life transition. Connecting authentically and compassionately forms the basis of all of Carrie’s personal and professional relationships. Carrie holds a Master’s Degree in Counseling from McDaniel College and a Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science from Gettysburg College. Learn more by visiting www.curiositylifecoaching.com


[1] https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/04/style/january-divorce-month.html

[2] https://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/divorce-day-2020-january-split-relationship-marriage-a4327181.html

Raising Robust Employees in Challenging Times

As the days draw-in and sunlight is waning (at least in the Northern Hemisphere), you may notice a drop-in your energy levels, motivation and mood. This most often rears its ugly-head in the workplace.  Maybe it is a missed deadline, a skipped meeting or lack of follow-through on a commitment.  Maybe it is increased anxiety about job security due to your poor performance. However it is showing up for you, it is a problem and you may not be able to solve it on your own. According to the Washington Post[1] depression and anxiety cost the global economy over $1 trillion in lost productivity. In the USA alone that is upwards of 200 million lost work days every year!  With numbers like this, everyone will benefit from workplace wellness initiatives that respect and create a work-life balance.

As an employee with autonomy and self-agency, there are simple ways you can increase your energy, commitment and focus in the workplace and beyond.  Having worked through this topic with so many clients, I would like to offer some tips on this subject. 

Firstly, no matter what, take a lunch break every single day. This is paramount. During your lunch break take a walk outside. No matter the weather conditions or environment, the fresh air, natural light and physical movement will provide you clarity, focus and fresh perspective. During this time, be as present to the moment as possible. Leave your device in your pocket as it will only serve as a distraction. When you are able to stay focused in the present moment, rather fixating on the past (e.g. what went wrong already this morning) or focusing on the future (e.g. what will be requested of you at your next meeting) you allow yourself to feel peace and calm. If your day simply won’t allow for a lunch break, fit in a break somewhere, whether it is mid-morning between conference calls or 30 minutes before you head into your commute home. You deserve it and your productivity will increase; not decrease!

Secondly, set yourself regular working hours and stick to them. In this 24 -hour world, we can easily be persuaded to work around the clock from the car, our bed and even vacation. Being realistic and discerning, prioritize your deadlines and commitments. With this in mind, only respond to urgent matters outside of your working hours. This is called setting healthy boundaries and creating a work-life balance for yourself.  Set expectations with your peers and clients so that they understand your commitment to a healthy work-life balance.  Many professionals have forgotten that not every email, text or call is urgent.  Again, use your discernment, intuition and expertise to determine if you must work outside of your normal business hours and respond accordingly.

Thirdly, create a practical, achievable and sustainable routine for self-care. This will depend greatly on your areas of interests, passions, and abilities.  Self-care is a huge factor in defending against career burnout.  Some ideas may include: journaling, jogging, attending a pilates class, reading scripture, joining a prayer gathering, free-writing, creative dancing, cooking, investing in musical lessons, walking your dog or volunteering a homeless shelter.  Create a list of accessible activities that you can engage in if you have 10 mins, an hour, or a full-day to dedicate to yourself. Creating this list ahead of time will prevent you from the paralysis you may feel if you find yourself with a precious, but unexpected, unscheduled window of time. Self-care, like all worthy pursuits, takes time and dedication.  If you don’t commit to caring for yourself, you will likely stop prematurely and regress into old, familiar habits.

Fourth, learn to meditate.  Meditation is the simplest and most accessible ways for anyone to create a sense of calm within themselves.  Anyone who can breathe, can meditate! Meditation requires practice and discipline but it’s not about achievement. It’s about being present, calm and open to your experience in the world. Meditation can be practiced anywhere at any time, so there are no excuses. Harvard Medical [2] studies confirm that adults can increase gray matter in 4 regions of the brain (including the frontal cortex) and reduce size of the amygdala (aka ‘fight or flight’ command center) after just 8 weeks of 27 mins per day of meditation practice.  If that doesn’t excite you, you can stop reading now!

Below I have provided a simple meditation that can practiced anywhere. To do this brief meditation, you only need to stop where ever you are and use your 5 senses to ground yourself in the moment. By grounding in the present moment, you allow yourself to be open to the experience of life that is unfolding in your very presence. The point is to stay focused on each of your senses as you move through this exercise. This meditation can be done in a just a few moments or stretched out when time allows. The important thing to remember is that you are sending calming signals to your brain’s amygdala as you meditate and therefore you are eliminating anxiety. Repeated practice of such a meditation will allow your mind easier access to its calmer side. 

Five Senses Meditation

Imagine you are sitting in a coffee shop on your lunch break… With your eyes you will take in the colors of the food in the display counter, the patterns of the shirt of the barista and dried-up spilled milk on your table. Stay there a while, observe and notice what you can only using your sight. With your ears you may hear the sounds of the espresso machine brewing, the chatter of the adjacent table or the honking horns of the cars outside. Stay here and take in all the sounds and notice how each feels to you. Close your eyes to deepen the experience. With your nose smell the bold scent of roasting coffee or the sweetness of the fresh baked pastries. Can you smell any specific ingredients like cinnamon, butter or fresh berries?  Maybe the scents are mixed together and you are intrigued by the combination of coffee and sweets.  Stay here, what else do you detect with only your nostrils? With your skin you may detect the heating blowing against your skin, the softness of your cotton shirt or the heat coming off your coffee cup. Stay here. How does each sensation feel and is there anything you can do to make yourself more comfortable with this new knowledge? With your tongue observe the taste of your coffee and how each sip differs from the last- is the coffee hot, cold, strong, mild, bitter? Does the second sip taste as good as the first? Can you taste the cream and sugar? Stay here and notice if there are any lingering tastes in your mouth such as your minty toothpaste or this morning’s everything bagel? Engage in each sense individually until you are fully present in your body and the experience.

As a life coach, I love helping transform and change. I am guided by my clinical training, expertise in human relationships and my well-honed intuition. I especially enjoy working with people in major life transitions such retirement, separation, or loss. If you would like to know more about how professional life coaching can benefit you, please reach out.  You can find all of my contact information on my website: www.curiositylifecoaching.com or at https://www.linkedin.com/in/carriecmead/. The consultation is always free, so you have nothing to lose and so much to gain.


[1] https://www.washingtonpost.com/brand-studio/kaiser-permanente/the-economics-of-workplace-wellbeing/

[2] https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2015/05/26/harvard-neuroscientist-meditation-not-only-reduces-stress-it-literally-changes-your-brain/

Strategic Decision Making Skills

Have you ever had a difficult time making a decision? Perhaps you have rushed into a decision and then regretted it either instantly or months later. Maybe you are so indecisive that decisions simply never get made and you are left feeling stuck in your situation. Maybe you have made decisions that were in direct conflict with your long-term goals or vision for your life. With the countless decisions you have made in your life, have you ever stopped and wondered how these past decisions have impacted the trajectory of your life?

In our busy lives, decisions are made at rapid speed and they are often made without adequate thought and consideration of the consequences. How many times have you made an important decision while multi-tasking or, worse yet, when you were tired, hungry or emotional? I will be writing on more on this topic soon. Suffice to say, I am quite certain that if you have made decisions under these conditions then the results were less than stellar.

On the other hand, your decision-making skills may lean away from impulsive towards indecisive. Wavering minds have a tendency towards uncertainty, anxiety and self-doubt. If you are inclined towards indecisiveness, you probably spend countless hours lost in a barrage of ‘what ‘if’’ thinking that ultimately leaves you feeling anxious, depressed, tired, stuck and hopeless.  

No matter which is your dominant decision-making style, chances are, you have made some good decisions in your life and you have made some poor ones as well.  Have you ever stopped to consider the circumstances that lead to those good decisions or bad decisions? By exploring your past, you have rich and valuable information for your future. 

Below is an exercise that you can use for the purpose of self-discovery. As always, when setting off on a journey, you want to be prepared. This is as true for today’s journey as it would be for setting off on a road trip across the country. Preparation for today’s journey of self-discovery should include setting aside ample time for completing the exercise, being well rested and comfortable in your setting and being prepared to take notes. To get the most of out of this experience, you will also need to set aside time in a few days for reflection on the experience. 

Step 1: Start with free writing. Just jot down all those thoughts swirling around your mind, whatever they are. Those ‘things’ that if left unattended will distract you from being present in this moment. Once that list is complete, put it aside knowing that it will be there for you when you are done. Give thanks for the time are you taking for yourself and quiet your mind.

Step 2: Create two lists. One list will consist of the ‘good’ decisions you have made in recent memory. A good decision may have led a good night’s sleep, an awesome date with your spouse, paying off a debt early or saying no to someone or something unsavory. The other list will consist of all those ‘bad’ decisions you have made. Those decisions which moved you out of alignment with your goals. This list may include decisions which catapulted you further into debt or added 10lbs to your waist line or ended a healthy romantic relationship.

Step 3: Review these lists. What immediately comes to mind as you read and re-read them? Jot these intuitive thoughts down. If they do not make sense now, they might later. Remember, as part of your preparation, you are setting aside time to reflect on this experience later this week. Never dismiss your intuition.  Do you see patterns of behaviors that repeat themselves overtly or covertly as you reflect and review? Whatever your reaction, it’s important to honor and acknowledge it.  

Step 4: Now you are ready to delve into just one experience from each list. Start with whichever list you prefer and remember to take notes! Begin by recalling what was going on at the time you made this particular decision. Were you focused and thoughtful or were you rushed, harried or impulsive? Were you well-rested and clear minded or were you tired and pushed for time? Did you consult with someone you trusted before making this decision or did you trust only yourself? Did you listen to your intuition or did you ignore it? Were there red flags you chose to ignore? Did you consider how this decision aligned with your long and short-term goals? Were you multi-tasking or day dreaming at the time you made your choice or were you fully present in the moment? Carefully consider these questions as they will provide you with personal insight and a chance for transformation and growth.

Step 5: Now that you’ve recalled this experience, reflect on the end result and consequences of your decision. Were you surprised by the results? Did things happen as you planned? Did you get the result you were hoping for or did you miss the target? What advice could you offer your younger-self about this topic knowing all that you do now? What did you do well in this decision-making process? Has the impact of this decision been less or more than you anticipated?  Sometimes the most surprising thing that we learn is that you spend entirely too much time worrying about the wrong thing! Complete this exercise again choosing one event from your other list.

Step 6: Lastly, think about a decision you need to make now or in the near future. How can you apply the information you gleaned from this experience to your current situation? Do you have a new perspective on this situation? Do you have new insight about your decision-making patterns? Do you have a new skill or tool to use that you didn’t before? Is your intuition crying out to be heard or is fear’s voice the loudest? Is there a friend or mentor you can reach out to for advice?  Has anything shifted?

Wherever you are at this moment with your pending decision, take time to care for yourself by delaying your choice until you have slept well. Yes, you heard me, sleep first, decide later. Neuroscience and sleep research make it clear that decisions are best made after a good night’s sleep.  The simple reason is that during sleep the brain eliminates distractions from the day by filtering out the ‘useless’ information and stimuli you received during the day to make room for the important information to emerge. Just think of all the colors, sounds, and images you experience as you scroll through social media for a few minutes. Our brains are constantly processing this information and storing it until we sleep when these stimuli can be filtered, filed or let go. This clearing process, which happens during deep non-REM sleep, allows the important information of the day to come forth. Following a good sleep, you will often have a fresh perspective that biologically could not have existed the previous day. (For more on the importance of quality sleep I highly recommend the movie “Sleepless in America” by National Geographic and the National Institute of Health. The entire movie is available for free on Youtube or DVD from your local library).

One reason why people like you seek the support of a life coach is to learn effective decision-making skills. Poor decision-making skills adds immeasurable stress to your life and ultimately robs you of the peace you deserve. If any of the above scenarios resonate with you, life coaching can help. As your coach, I will come along aside you to offer space, time, fresh perspectives, empowerment trainings, brainstorming exercises and guidance as you determine if your current patterns of thoughts and behaviors are aligning you with your goals or moving you away from your desired outcomes. 

Decision-making skills can be learned and re-learned. They are teachable, adaptable and extremely important in your adult life. As a life coach and mental health therapist, I have borne witness to the impact a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ decision has on the trajectory of one’s life countless times. 

It is my greatest desire to assist you in making conscious, intentional and healthy choices for your life.  Want to know more about the benefits of life coaching, click below. I will be happy to offer you a complimentary first session so that you can experience the power of life coaching first-hand. You can reach me, Carrie C. Mead, by email at: curiositylifecoaching@gmail.com or at LinkedIn.

Carrie C. Mead, MS

Professional Life Coach

Certified Seasons of Change Coach

From Therapy to Coaching

With this first blog, I want to address frequently asked questions about the differences between psychotherapy and life coaching. It’s not uncommon for people to confuse these two professions and to be sure, similarities do exist. However, these professions are not interchangeable. These waters can become even murkier as many counselors, like me, are shifting away from practicing as licensed counselors to becoming life coaches.

Some differences between counseling and coaching are:

  • Coaching sessions are focused on the agenda set by client at the start of each session
  • Coaching is action oriented and results driven
  • Coaching takes place in the here and now, not in the past
  • Coaching assumes that you are resilient, strong, capable and healthy
  • Coaching focuses on aligning your strengths with your stated goals
  • Coaching assumes that you are the expert of your own life purpose
  • Coaching is a collaborative process
  • Coaching can take place by phone, video or in person across the USA or worldwide
  • Therapy is process oriented and often focuses on emotions, behaviors and thoughts
  • Therapy assesses for and diagnoses mental health disorders
  • Therapy is often considered “medically necessary” and is covered by health insurance
  • Therapy has an inherent power dynamic in which the therapist is often considered the expert

Some similarities between counseling and coaching are:

  • Both professions require specialized trainings, certifications, course work, internships and/or in-vivo field practice
  • Both professions have the same inherent goal of assisting clients create fulfilling lives
  • Both coaches and therapists are highly trained, emphatic and intelligent
  • Both professions recognize and honor that each person is different and that there is no ‘one size fits all’ recipe for clients
  • Both professions adhere to ethical guidelines which foster safety within the relationship

It’s the job of the coach to help you, the client, understand these differences so that you choose the appropriate service for your needs. As the consumer, you are entitled to understand what coaching is, and is not, so that you can knowledgeably enter the coaching contract. In traditional psychotherapy, we would make this part of the informed consent process. A thorough initial phone call or video call should include: establishing rapport, assessing your readiness for coaching and explaining the limitations of coaching.

It’s my belief that both coaching and therapy are vital and helpful services for many people. There is no ‘better’ or ‘less than’ helping profession. It’s actually this diversity which allows us to have access to the services we need most at a particular time in life.

I hope this has been helpful and if you would like to explore life coaching further, please contact me here or visit me on Facebook.

“Just as the boat is guided to shore by careful planning, following the map and visualizing the light house, we too must have these tools to reach our goals. Without preparation, planning and a vision of the future we are just afloat in the sea at the mercy of the winds”

Carrie Mead